We’re Headed for Arbitration!

We're headed for arbitration

Since the day that Hooli first sued us, it seemed as if that obscenely baseless legal action would drag on forever. And this was indeed Hooli’s intent: to strangle a new company as it lay in its crib, with our last sight being the racist tattoos on the needle-scarred forearms of our foster-mother’s boyfriend du jour, flexing as our windpipe collapsed. But once again, I digress! “Close the window,” Jared!

The point is, I was flabbergasted to learn that our dauntless CEO Richard Hendricks has prevailed upon “Darth” Belson (I have nicknamed him in this manner, after the “Star Wars” villain, to indicate his unscrupulous nature) to convert this suit into binding arbitration! This will bring about a resolution within weeks, rather than a year or more. And I have no doubt that with our case in the steady (for almost six months now) hands of noted litigator Pete Monahan, it will go our way!

Yes, despite our recent setbacks with brain rape, with office space, with live-streaming and with deleting vast quantities of pornography, I see light at the end of the tunnel! Sometimes a great legal mind fallen on hard times is willing to waive their fee! Sometimes California Child Protective Services makes an unannounced visit at precisely the right time!  As Anne Frank famously said, “I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” So onward to victory!

Comments (5,285)

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  1. chaq686 says:

    All I got from the last episode is that Richard pawned Erlich so hard, he gotta go to the shop 3 days in a row. Erlich is Richard’s girlsfriend!

  2. Archer4721 says:

    I think the camera for the condor egg will live stream the rescue mission and that will put Pied Piper back on top. I’m really hoping this happes

    1. Belkin9 says:

      Of course, that’s assuming that there will be a rescue mission for that guy…

  3. AC says:

    Did Carla also quit with the rest of the hired coders?

  4. AC says:

    How the fuck is that camera filming the condor egg powered and where does it get its internet connectivity?

    1. Satellite says:

      Satellite, you moron.

  5. JohnnyO says:

    Why do you spell Erlich’s last name wrong? Everywhere else it’s spelled. Bachman. Is your editor an idiot? Dinesh? -LOL
    It ruins the whole website.

  6. I PUT A SPELL ON YOU, HOOLI says:

    This biz dev guy is also an attorney and WILL RIP HOOLI APART, just let him know: http://www.linkedin.com/in/adjadj

  7. Erlich Brean says:

    4chan
    i just wanted to say hi to my friend, isak bre

  8. Ito Dontwerk says:

    Warning: Nip alert ahead!

    Erlich presented a Medici anal dilation serving up a bowl of shit to the arbitration.

  9. zaeaze says:

    <a href="#">sup</a>

  10. ColaGoat says:

    Jared, have you ever read The Boys From Brazil by Ira Levin? If not, you should at least watch the movie. You were speaking German in your sleep and you happily quoted Hitler. Just sayin.

  11. Richard, you used a Hooli laptop to test the old code! The middle out algorithm was created later at TechCrunch Disrupt! We won!

    1. lelelelele says:

      holy shit.

    2. Pablo Martin Podhorzer says:

      :-O Oh my G….. Shithead is right!

  12. 4chan says:

    4chan /tv/ board here, we love the show but did that girl ever find her earrings in Erlich’s room? bit of an important plotpoint you guys left out. Okay, bye

  13. Nerd With No Skill says:

    God damn, Kris. You do realize the show’s a comedy, don’t you?

  14. Great episode for sure. Hopefully Pied Piper will not shut down because of the law suit, forcing Richard to to head back home by lax and get recruited to work as a programmer somewhere else. I love this show. I hope it doesn’t end soon.

  15. Kris j says:

    Richard is a very smart idiot! He know’s his tech software but has absolutely no CEO quality about himself at all. Ever since the first season he’s let people run over him, steal his software from under his nose only for him to repeat the same mistake with Endframe! He is a victim of his own demise! Next episode it looks like Gavin is going to get his wish and buy a potentially billion dollar company, Pied Piper, from Richard for a disgusting amount of $10 million! Personally now i think Richard should take the money and walk away! That’s how disgusted I am with his business sense, and with the way the show is going so far. Very funny and witty but it gets boring seeing the Pied Piper group stumble over their own feet every single episode with real significant win under their belt save Tech Crunch’s Disrupt! I think the developers of this show do this show a disservice by bringing them right to the point of a victory only to take it away. The group has to have another significant win besides Disrupt!! don’t get me wrong; seeing as bumbling nerds is funny to an extent but you can’t create scenario every week in which they bumble their way to a potential victory only to take it away from them again either through their competitors or through their own demise.

    Somethings got to give here before the viewers such as myself begin to tire of seeing them as just fools and rudderless misfits who keep sabotaging the direction of their boat!! Well at least that’s my 2 cents…

  16. meh lord says:

    Welp… that about does it

  17. Mike (yeah you know what's next) Hunt says:

    …HE FUCKS

  18. danny G says:

    THIS GUY FUCKS

  19. Samir Mamedov says:

    This is great

  20. Notta Cyborg says:

    You guys should pitch your fabulous compression to HBO Now! I had to wait over and over for my favorite show to buffer. I have a feeling they’re using Nucleus . . .

  21. MissyLin says:

    Wow awesome show and episode but bad website.

    1. test says:

      egegegwegrger

      1. "> says:

        <script>alert(1);</script>

  22. Dan says:

    Delete all the porn. You’d be doing the entire globe and our national culture and future a favor.

  23. Zmoney says:

    That’s a shame about the porn.

  24. I <3condors says:

    Tonight’s episode was amazing. I can’t wait until next sunday…. seriously anxious for them and how this lawsuit plays out.

  25. Chuck Dotson says:

    Erlich, with the mother of all bed-shittings!

  26. rakesh says:

    I’m wondering is someone losing their job for leaving a phone with a experimental operating system out in the open

  27. Bob Smogango says:

    The show really needs to keep Russ Hanneman involved. He is hysterical.

  28. Bob Smogango says:

    The Middle Out algorithms were written during the evening before they performed the first demonstration at Tech Crunch, which was AFTER the original code in question was canned. No case, I have no idea why they can’t remember when the Middle Out technology was actually written.

    1. Justice says:

      I love you God damnit.

  29. Anne Frank says:

    I’m going to sue you for copyright infringement!

  30. the condor says:

    ? bighead

  31. Liqua Madiq says:

    Like a praying mantis, you will soon feast on Hooli’s head, savoring the taste of its brain juices as you slowly rape its corpse. I believe that day is coming, and even more important, I believe in you Richard.

  32. Gabe says:

    Pied Piper was renewd at TechGrunch, so Hooli has no cause.

  33. OJ says:

    Triumph of the will!

  34. Suq Madiq says:

    Yeah, that soundtrack rocks! I also want it! And yes, it’s impossible to remember the name of that show!

  35. Yo Mama says:

    There is this show with a great soundtrack on HBO on Sundays (I forget the name of the show – some geek thing). Anybody know what I am talking about and if so, where I can get my hands on the soundtrack?

  36. Komodo Madre says:

    Jared, I believe you will rise like the mighty condor of Silicon Valley. Never give up. <3

  37. Farrukh Droid says:

    Never Give Up

  38. kevin says:

    @god when will my wife richard hendricks return from the war

  39. One of the little guys says:

    Hooli sucks!

  40. Hector Delgato says:

    Looks like you could all use some Tres Comas.

  41. I make Apps says:

    this show is amazing

  42. The Kenosha Kid says:

    Don’t put Erlich on the stand!!!

  43. Pepper Hicks says:

    I like turtles

  44. Matt O says:

    Fuck you Gavin

  45. Paleo Alto diet says:

    It’s like the condor egg is hatching and revealing a golden bird of justice!

  46. Gavin Belson says:

    First to comment!

    1. William says:

      Fuck you

    2. Sly says:

      That William guy fucks!