That’s right! Despite Gavin Belson’s best efforts, he has failed in using his groundless suit to freeze our funding. We have secured, in lieu of a standard Series A, a substantial seven-figure bridge loan—albeit on a less-than-ideal disbursement schedule—from none other than famous (and some say polarizing) financier Russ Hanneman.
Russ Hanneman, as anyone not living in a cave for the last several decades knows, made a billion dollars in the early 1990s with his company that allowed internet users to access radio stations, or, in his colorful words: “Putting radio on the mother-f**king Internet.” Since then, he has launched other businesses, such as noted California billboard-purveyor Hanneman Outdoor Media, as well as busied himself with buying hockey teams, dating women thrown off reality shows for behavioral issues and the like. He also, flatteringly, seems to believe my romantic life is far more active and strenuous than it in fact is.
In any case, we’re glad you’re backing us, Mr. Hanneman! Please, please, please don’t park your McLaren on Erlich’s lawn again!