Pied Piper is a multi-platform technology based on a proprietary universal compression algorithm that has consistently fielded high Weisman Scores™ that are not merely competitive, but approach the theoretical limit of lossless compression.
In its original incarnation, Pied Piper was a songwriter-oriented music app that made it easier for songwriters to determine if their work infringed on other’s copyright. And frankly, we still think that wasn’t a terrible idea, and we were kind of looking forward to doing it, because who doesn’t like music, right?
However, based on user feedback that was suboptimal and on occasion downright mean, we are now currently pivoting to a SaaS model to create a new “compression cloud” solution that covers a far wider user base. This new strategy brings us a clearer path to monetization and helps us even avoid the crappy licensing models for Lempel-Ziv-Welch in .gif files (among others). Because Lord knows, there aren’t enough compressed .gif files in the world that have cats making faces with rap lyrics underneath them.
But it is safe to say, we intend to deploy an integrated, multi-platform functionality of all conceivable applications of the algorithm, that we hope will make the world a better place through compression services across diversified market segments.
“Atrus/The Puppet Master/Ricky”
Richard hails from Tulsa. He has earned degrees from the University of Oklahoma and Stanford. (Go Sooners and Cardinals!) Before starting Pied Piper, he worked for Hooli as a part time software developer. While his work focuses on applied information theory, mostly optimizing lossless compression schema of both the length-limited and adaptive variants, his non-work interests range widely, everything from quantum computing to chaos theory. He could tell you about it, but THAT would NOT be a “length-limited” conversation!
“El Peludo”/”The J-2000: Steve Jobs 2.0”
Senior Minority Owner, Chief Executive of Physical Space (Landlord)
Noted Silicon Valley entrepreneur and bon vivant Erlich Bachmann has founded both Palo Alto’s Hacker Hostel incubator (allowed to reopen by the Sheriff’s Department in 2011) and the airline booking aggregator Aviato, acquired by a major airline in 2008 for low seven figures. That’s right. Seven. Figures. He is also a pioneer in the field of crossbreeding Cannabis Sativa with those ofPsylocybe Cubensis, with the goal of producing customizable hallucinations, possibly recreating famous scenes from film and television. Has attended, for various lengths of time, Berkeley, Reed, Oberlin, and Hampshire College (B.A. in Ultimate Frisbee).
“Wolfgang Amadeus Java”
Born in Islamabad, Dinesh became a naturalized citizen in 2010, unlike Gilfoyle, who was an illegal Canadian alien until quite recently and is a piece of garbage. He has received honors degrees in information theory and computer science from Yale, Caltech, and Oxford. His hobbies include both watching rugby and the wearing of its signature shirts (which perfectly combine form and function in a way not popularly appreciated), libertarian politics, and being stared at suspiciously during air travel.
“The Eye of Sauron”
McGill. MIT. EFF. 666Chan.
In 2011 he replaced the homepage of the Federal Reserve with the cover of Neil Gaiman’s “Neverwhere.” (paperback edition) It took them a week to get it down. You’re welcome.
Gilfoyle has played drums in a series of Toronto-area first-wave-DC-influenced hardcore, thrashcore, hatecore, corecore, and corehard outfits under the name Strychnine McTwat. In fact, he has been asked to leave some of the most influential bands in the Toronto scene, including Piss Nazis, the Scumtones, and Das Abortions. He was about to sign a high three-figure deal with EbolaTard Records, when the company’s president was arrested, and the company’s office was impounded, after drugs were found in its door panels during a traffic stop.
JARED (DONALD) DUNN
“The Andrea Dworkin of Building Long-Term Value”
Head of Business Development
Jared’s early life is best passed over, but he managed to rise above it thanks to a series of largely well-meaning foster parents, and went on to receive a B.A. from Vassar College in Economics. During those too-soon-over happiest of years, he was proud to sing second alto with the “Joyce Carol Notes A Capella Confrontation.“ At Vassar he was also coxswain for Women’s Heavyweight Crew, writer and assistant stage manager of the opera “American HerStory XX,” and co-founder of Take Back “Take Back the Night.” After graduation, he worked for Google and Congresswoman Nancy Pelosi before becoming a director of special projects at Hooli, working closely with CEO Gavin Belson, before moving to Pied Piper in 2014.
Pied Piper is not associated with Pied Piper Irrigation. It might be associated with HBO’s Silicon Valley series (find out). Watch it Sundays at 10PM.
Did you like our old logo? Some people did, and did NOT in fact think there was anything penis-like about it, including the CEO's mom. To see the old logo, click here.